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Hello Everyone. I haven't been online posting in a while for one big reason.
I had gotten Sick. With what my family and myself thought was the Flu. Oddly enough we never get sick with the Flu, or anything other then a miner cold, fever, or Allergy's. After 5 days passed I got Sicker then I have ever had better in my 17 (almost 18) years of my life. I had no appetite, My feet and hand were ice cold, I was Shaking uncontrollably, My head was Hurting not like a head-ache but like my very skull was Aching and in a vise, I no longer could sleep being up now for a solid 5 days. I went to the doctor which they said that if this is the flu it'll pass which we already knew so that wasn't helpful. At 7 days I couldn't take it anymore I was scared now and asked to go to the ER. I should note that I refuse to get shots and I absolutely hate doctors. I would NOT have said that unless I believed I was going to die. Well come 3 weeks of getting worst I had been to the ER 5 times. The 1 ER doctor giving me an IV once for pain. Another prescribed some sleeping pills an also a mood stabilizer none of which I trusted already being on sleeping pills. I told the last ER doctor after 3 weeks of this battle of a illness they could not find. I said if you can't help me you better kill me because I can't take it anymore. Which the doctor almost dismissed if I haven't added that if they send me home I would find a way to kill myself. With that a Social worker came 3 hours later and said that they would put me a Crisis Center that would be a home like environment with about 5 other kids 12-18 year old. Basically a Suicide watch house. My mom has been in a one of these places before so she knew everything I'd need while i stayed there.
When i got to the Crisis Center in was 11 PM everyone was in bed and the staff just did shift change. They had to search check all my thing before putting it in my room. I was left with the two night staff ladies who were 25-30 years old and so freaking nice and caring. I know i was probably expected to go to my room and "try" to sleep but the ladies let me pace up and down the hall for 2 and half hours. By this time i said "I take do this anymore." and walked into my room and laid down I didn't sleep right away which stressed me out so i told the ladies they asked what helps me relax and i said ASMR on my phone (Your not allowed and Technology) the lady was nice enough to give me her phone to listen to and UNBELIEVABLY i was able to fall asleep listen to in on which Ive never done before. I slept 11 hours it was 1 AM normal wake up. I still felt Worn down but a shit ton better then before. The other kids were so nice and i enjoyed every minute i was there i was surprise when the head staff lady called me to the office and said i was released on the 4th day there. Honestly my first thought was "Do I have to?" which makes me realized all the more just how desperate i freaking was